


It's So Cold Out Here In Your Wilderness

by alilyinhighgarden



Series: When You Get This Close, You Can Feel The Heat [4]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: An emotional voicemail ends up being his answer, M/M, Post-10/8/18 RAW, Seth doesn't know what to do after Dean walks away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilyinhighgarden/pseuds/alilyinhighgarden
Summary: Originally his plan was to head back for Davenport once Dean left for the airport in the morning but after the way things unexpectedly unraveled at the end of the show he wondered if he was still welcome. Now he has to choose, head to the hotel as or hit the road towards home.





	It's So Cold Out Here In Your Wilderness

The rumble from the engine of Seth’s car served as the score to him staring down at his phone, the screen of which had long since gone dark. Originally his plan was to head back for Davenport once Dean left for the airport in the morning but after the way things unexpectedly unraveled at the end of the show he wondered if he was still welcome. Something was eating at Dean from the inside out and maybe he needed space to battle that demon. Maybe coming back the way he did was too much, too soon. Maybe being the member of The Shield without a title was a weird thing to adjust to. Maybe he had a showdown with mortality and came away changed.    


Maybe... 

              Maybe... 

                              Maybe... 

Still... Seth should call him, right? Normally he would not give it a second thought. Would go to the favorites in his contacts and hit the third name on the list. A name only superseded by his mom and dad. But everything felt precarious, like they were balancing on the edge of a mountain, the promise of a beautiful sight at the summit but also the certainty of mortal wounds on the rocks below. Seth was worried that the wrong move would send Dean toppling over the cliff faster than Seth could reach out and catch him. 

No matter how he had tried to convince Roman otherwise back at the arena Seth was terrified. He may have put on a brave face in front of the crowd but in truth it felt like everything was spinning out of control. Lately everytime it seemed that their bond was reaffirmed another wave of circumstance and doubt came crashing down upon them. All he wanted was for them to be together  _ and _ happy but maybe those two things were somehow mutually exclusive. Maybe holding that chair all those years ago, making  _ that _ choice, was a permanent end to any hopes for a harmonious brotherhood.

Now he has to choose, head to the hotel as planned or hit the road towards Davenport. 

His tongue darted out over his bottom lip and he moved on impulse. Unlocking his phone and hitting Dean’s number before he could talk himself out of it. Hornets let loose in his stomach as the phone rang. He wanted Dean to answer. Wanted to hear his voice. But he also had no idea what he would say if Dean  _ did _ pick up. 

Fortunately (unfortunately, really) he did not have to find out because after four rings it goes to voicemail. 

“Hey. It’s me. I-” He rubbed his brow. “I know you’re struggling and I want to help you I just- I need some help knowing how, man. I want to be here for whatever you need.  _ Always _ . But I don’t know-” His throat tightened around the words, choking them off. 

The phone still held against his ear, Seth dropped his head back against the seat and swallowed hard. He stared up at the ceiling of the vehicle as if somewhere in the fabric he would find weaved the right words to make this all better.

“I think I’m just gonna head home tonight,” he finally said though he wondered if Dean would hang up during the silence that preceded the statement. That was  _ if _ he even listened to the message. “I guess- you seem to have a lot on your mind and I dunno- maybe me trying to pick your brain every week has just made things worse.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It definitely hasn’t made them better.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears that stung them. “My phone will still be on though. Please call me.  _ Please call me _ .” The words came out dripping with the desperation he had tried to keep pushed down. “I- I’m scared Dean. This feels like I’m-” he stopped, not wanting to let the next sentiment free. “I don’t know what the fuck to do.” 

Seth picked at the stitching on the steering wheel with his thumbnail. “If I don’t hear from you tomorrow you’re getting another call so-” he cleared his throat. “We’re here for you Dean.”

That was it. All he could think to say at this late hour. It was not enough but Seth was also afraid it could be too much. He hit the red button to end the call and tapped the edge of the phone against his lips. There was nothing more he could do tonight. Now he just had to wait. 

He threw on some music and pulled out of arena parking, heading for the direction of home, even if he was leaving his heart behind in Chicago.  

**Author's Note:**

> I had this typed up on my computer for a couple weeks but did not decide until this weekend that I might as well go ahead and publish it. This situation just hurts y'all. 
> 
> Title from "Water Under the Bridge" by Adele. 
> 
> Thanks to Kyrene3 for looking it over.


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